Tuesday, 22 August 2023

What Donald Trump Can Teach Us About Behaviour

Like a lot of Canadians, I suspect, my family have spent more time thinking and talking about U.S. politics in the last few years than ever before. Among other symptoms of this peculiar and unbecoming habit was the inclusion of a fair bit of U.S.-focused podcasts in our listening habits. One of the podcasts my husband has been listening to is called "What Trump Can Teach Us about Con Law". In the days following the U.S. election, I found myself reflecting on what Trump can teach us about behaviour, hence the title for this post. 

Everyone except those closest to him can see they are dealing with someone who has been insulated, by family and handlers and privilege, from the consequences of his actions for, presumably, his whole life. He has, reportedly, taken unfair advantage of others in matters financial and personal, routinely lied without being called on it (or, if called on it, doubled down on those lies), been verbally, physically and sexually abusive, and on it goes. What makes him think he can get away with it, we ask? Of course the answer is simple: because the people in his life prevented him from ever experiencing the consequences of his actions. 

So what does this remind us of? Nothing more or less than the long-term consequences of insulating our loved ones from the consequences of their own actions and choices. We do this for love, out of fear,  to prevent potential harm (of all types), to save time, and for many other very good reasons. Maybe I'm a meanie, but I take a small, secret amount of pleasure whenever my son suffers (mildly) as the result of his failure to make his own choices, whether that be getting wet because he didn't check the forecast (or the sky), or not being able to purchase something he desires because he didn't monitor his bank balance, or anything else that is perhaps unpleasant or unhappy-making, but not actually dangerous. 

Tuesday, 21 February 2023

Sibling Resources

 https://canadiancaregiving.org/siblingscanada/

Sunday, 13 November 2022

Individualized Funding

"The Individualized Funding Coalition for Ontario (IFCO) is pleased to be launching a comprehensive paper called: Now is the Time, Key Principles and Core Elements to Bring About Effective Individualized Funding Mechanisms in Ontario." Download it from here.

Sunday, 11 September 2022

Mental Health, Informed Decision Making, and Medical Resources for Adults with Developmental Disabilities



Cleaning up some old email and found a link to these COVID-related resources  provided by HCAARDD. from a virtual course offered early in 2021. Some, but not all, over COVID-specific. Includes supports for self-advocacy. They also offer a "Family Matters Toolkit" and a information that can be shared with healthcare providers. [2022/11/13[

Additiona COVID-related resources:

Awake Labs purports to have wearable technology to help caregivers (and individuals themselves) monitor stress levels in people with developmental disabilities.

Apparently the University of Toronto's School of Dentistry provides emergency dental care for those who pay an annual membership. 

CAMH runs "Project ECHO" with a focus on mental health issues for adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities. It appears to be targeted to professionals, but it's not clear if they would explicitly exclude parents/caregivers. At a minimum it might be a useful resource to share with the service providers in your child's life. [2022/10/06]

About my Health: a worksheet for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities to fill out and share with health care providers to make the health care visit a success. 

Resource for bereavement: 

Resources for informed decision-making:



Friday, 17 June 2022

Worker dogs and petter dogs

 For mysterious reasons, my guy has always called service dogs "worker dogs", which is a pretty reasonable term, all things considered. At some point in his life he must have either been corrected for trying to pet such a dog, or witnessed someone corrected for that, but he unfailingly calls attention to dogs that are not "worker dogs". Recently we encountered a very enthusiastic black puppy on the street, the kind that throws themself at your legs and strains so hard on the leash they end up practically horizontal. As we walked away from that encounter, Devon announced that that was a "petter" dog. So that's what we call them these days!

Sunday, 24 April 2022

Toronto-based programs for adults

Toronto Parks and Recreation offers in-person programs, including Active8, at various locations, throughout the year. They also offer dropin programs.

Reach Toronto offers a variety of programs, including life skills, pre-employment programs, and financial literacy programs, including a pre-employment program.  

Dramaway offers many programs that can encourage and support communication and social engagement

DreamWeavers offers gaming and social skills programs.

The TDSB offers "Free, accessible community programs and services for employment, English language classes and settlement for newcomers, career training, skills upgrading for adults and youth in the Greater Toronto Area". 

New Haven offers a variety of programs for adults, including therapeutic supports, community access & participation, parent training, pre-vocational and work placement. (Located in Etobicoke.)

Sunday, 20 March 2022

"something is different: different is good"

Fans of the movie Groundhog Day will probably recognize the source for the title of this post. My husband and I are big fans of that movie and the quote in the title of this post has become a catchphrase of ours to use whenever our son does something he has never done before or even something that he has steadfastly argued against doing for years and then just, you know, starts doing it. This includes things like eating foods he would never touch before, taking pills when he has a bad cold, adjusting to changes in schedule and routine, and all that sort of stuff. None of these are life-changing, but still worth celebrating. 

One of these changes is around food choices: the homeless shelter where he volunteers provides a lunch that essentially consists of whatever has been donated recently, and he's done astonishingly well at eating things he would never have eaten before, either because there are no other options, because he's hungry after working all morning, or because of the community-type setting for the meal, who knows?

Another change, most recently, was around pop drinking. This is a guy who loves his colas (Pepsi or Coke) and has successfully argued (in his own way) that the diet versions are slightly more acceptable then the regular ones. My husband and I tend to drink ginger ale, when we drink pop at all, and often have one of those 2 litre bottles in the fridge. Up until now, Devon has completely ignored this beverage, but recently I found him pouring himself a glass. Why? Because at a recent yard sale he bought a set of four glasses with different pop logos on them, and I guess he figured the closest he'd come to Sprite was ginger ale, so he started drinking it from that glass. [updated March 2022]