I can't remember when we first got a watch for our son, but he seems to have been wearing one forever. We chose a relatively simple digital design (a challenge to find, which is why we bought a couple) with an expanding wrist band because his coordination wasn't up to the challenges of a conventional strap. In those days he was highly resistant to anything new, but for some reason, he took to that watch instantly, wearing it to bed, in the pool, in the bath, everywhere. The precision and lack of ambivalence of the digital read-out is, I suspect, highly appealing, and undiminished by the fact that these days it's hard to find something that doesn't tell you the time. (The time shown on his watch apparently over-rides that of his numerous electronic devices.) However, his awareness is of the time, not so much time itself. This leads to exchanges like:
Me - "Time to head upstairs for bed (for a 10:00 transition to bedtime)"
Him - "It's only 9:59!"
Me - <sigh>
I have yet to make him understand that a minute or two spent arguing is actually less pleasant than simply complying.
One of the routine problems we encounter with his devotion to his watch, of course, is the twice a year Great Daylight Savings Time Crisis. First, we tried sneaky - my husband would creep into Devon's room late at night, remove the watch, change the time, and slip it back on his wrist, but that only worked a few times - very soon, no ninja could have overcome our kid's sensitivity to any such attempts, no matter what the hour. A couple of times we waited until he was in his swimming lesson (from which the watch was banned), and change it then. Then we tried demands - he couldn't do whatever was the desired activity of the moment until he handed over his watch for correction. And he would watch over the procedure as if observing open heart surgery being performed on his newborn (which is why my husband always had this specific task, since I am apparently incapable of mastering the obscure combination of buttons required, even without my kid's fierce scrutiny).
Then he grew up, and we grew up too, and I decreed that he could voluntarily hand over the watch for the time change, learn to do it himself, or live with being out of sync with the rest of the world ( until he was willing to relinquish the precious time piece for the length of time it took to adjust the time. Each time this strategy was used, it took less and less time before he choose to have his watch changed, as his awareness of being out of step increases (aided by the fact that he surrounds himself with electronics which magically adjust their own time).
A while back the time change occurred when my husband was out of town. He cleverly attributed the non-requirement to have his watch changed to the absence of my husband (I overheard him saying "when dad is back he will fix it"). He eagerly greeted my husband's return, handed over the watch, and went his merry way without another comment. Now this is routine: he asks for the watch to be changed and it's a complete non-event.
The lessons I learned in this multi-year experiment were to never forget to make the best use of natural consequences, to just respect your kid's choices, let them have more ownership over their life choices, recognize what truly is the small stuff and really none of your business, and never back him into a corner just to meet some standard of conventionality that matters not a jot in the general scheme of things.
No comments:
Post a Comment